Keep Breathing – Sometimes It’s All You Can Do

I have written about grief in these posts a few times already. Dig and you’ll uncover the layers of my pain.

It hides in accidents and breakups, deaths and departures, disappointments and unanswered questions, the selfish stony silence of betrayal by those who never were deserving of my love, and the trappings of my own human imperfections…jealousy, hurt and confusion, which do strange things to a person.

The older you get, the more you realize you’re incapable of escaping the planet without a ‘collision’. NO ONE gets out without hurting someone. It is logical, then, that someone will scratch or seriously hurt you at some point along the way to that final destiny. We’re gonna ache. We’re gonna suffer. Because life is full of perils and it’s hard, if beautiful. Shit happens. Buddhists know and Buddhism reminds us: if we live, we are going to suffer (life is hard as nails sometimes). Accept this and practice compassion. The sages have all said this in their own ways. Easier said than done.

Sometimes someone slights us or threatens or scares us, crosses a line, does a 180, puts everyone else first including him or herself. You lose sight of your own boundaries and suddenly what was them is you and you’re there bashing yourself thinking: what’s wrong with me?!?!?! Why is this happening? Perhaps nothing is wrong with you, darling. Why do you hurt yourself so?

Ever stop to think that we are so injured, we interpret this through our lenses of ‘injury’ and ‘philosophy’ and our physical and practical limitations…and like other animals that we live among in this natural world of living things – we freeze, fight or take flight. So much for compassion for our whole range of emotions. What if we were to just…suffer? To suffer is to bear witness, endure, feel, take on, grab by the boots, meet and stand strong in the face of pain. To be the one to embrace your pain is a gift. It will only teach you strength. Get it? Do you?

This is your work to do.

I can write this with a muted compassion today.  Yesterday I was in the mud and could not love self or others. The morning fixed that. My humor had returned and I realized, with odd surprise: in fact, I’m human. Some days remind me of the past and hurts rise up devils and demons to test the soul. We must learn to forgive one another. There is no hope for this planet, really, otherwise. You know that. And, too, we must also forgive ourselves for expecting ourselves to be machines, robots, automatons…when we are human. It’s perfectly okay to lose yourself on occasion. You’ll come back, when you’re ready.

A wise woman with a gentle voice and somber mirth once said to me advice someone once said to her, “Keep breathing, it’ll get you through.” I’ve never forgotten these words. I do a better job of repeating them to others in need than to myself in the low tides of life. But it’s a call that glides in my head with a message like a mantra…when I need it, when others need it.

So, I give it to you: Keep breathing.

Choose life’s chakra suite of colour and splendor. We’re in the same boat. Floating along this grand river together. 

You’ll never suffer the same when you know you’re not alone. Keep breathing.

Lorelei