It’s Only Love – Don’t let it break you

It’s Only Love – Bryan Adams   

When the feelin’ is ended
There ain’t no use pretendin’
Don’t ya worry – it’s only love

When your world has been shattered
Ain’t nothin’ else matters
It ain’t over – it’s only love
And that’s all – yeah

When your heart has been broken
Hard words have been spoken
It ain’t easy – but it’s only love

And if your life ain’t worth livin’
And you’re ready to give in
Just remember – that it’s only love

You can live without the aggravation
Ya gotta wanna win – ya gotta wanna win

You keep lookin’ back in desperation
Over and over and over again

Yeah – oh yeah
It’s only love – Baby
Oh baby babe – it’s only love, love, love
Love, Love, love

Ever had a broken heart? 

Has your heart been broken? What person alive hasn’t faced the ending of a relationship and – worse – been jilted by a friend, lover, business partner, employer – someone you loved or at least liked and respected? It can be brutal.

Today’s song reflects the hard cold fact that sometimes people are going to let you down, be inconsiderate, be selfish, be absent, be corrupt, put themselves before you and leave or fail you.

How do you look after you through this?

I’ve been in and out of love at least six times, and these were deep, meaningful relationships. I’ve been very blessed but I had my heart broken every time. I just could not believe that the relationship was over. Endings were hard and each one in its own way made me crazy – angst, crying, devastation. Had I done enough? What had I done wrong or not done right? How does something like this fall apart?! The existential questions that come up at the end of a relationship can be so hard.

It happens in business, too.

I’ve had heartache and disappointment in business, too. I put a lot of trust in others when I started up the largest cafe based coffee festival in the world in the UK. My very own business partner (a contracted employee, really, entrusted with all my secrets) literally stole off with my proprietary idea – my coffee festival’s long term plans for expansion – and opened up a competing event with a different name in my planned territory/jurisdiction, stealing even my new name even – the cheek! – with another volunteer (three years in). This was despite the fact that I own all the URL’s and domain name for this festival except for one.

You’ve got something better going on

It took years to get over the betrayal and figure out how to respond to this. With time, and the helpful and compassionate suggestion from a fellow artist that, in fact, I could do better than them because I am “the ideas girl” – and I am – I began to look for more constructive solutions. I accepted that this was the decision these individuals made. I would have to learn to do business better.

I have always that that the last relationship should inform the next one.

It begs the question: what can we do better?

Anger hides the deeper feeling of disappointment. Acknowledge the pain, let it be and put the relationship in perspective.

Relationship endings are so fraught with anger which is the deeper emotion buried beneath the surface layers of disappointment. Naturally, we can feel quite distressed and even suicidal in the early stages of a breakup or later on when life just goes empty and loneliness creeps in, leaving a person to wonder: what’s wrong with me?

Bryan Adams sings about this. “It’s only love.” A person, a good idea, a place, a business, a situation, something to which you are extremely bonded to. There are many on this planet who have the wisdom to know that all life is impermanent. It’s only love (our passions) and these things can come and go and change with the wind sometimes.

In fact, diminish the importance of this calamity. Put the rest of your beautiful life in perspective and remember this: life is impermanent. At the core, it really is. That means…you get to start again…with you.

It’s not worth your peace of mind to destroy yourself in pursuit of the love of others who don’t have it to give, or a relationship that is done, gone and over. Love is precious. But do you know what? So. Are. You.

Power up with Canada’s Bryan Adams, one of my high school favorites, though he really just gets better with age – don’t we all…age is wisdom – and think about how much pain you create for yourself when you indulge the very idea that that one person or one thing matters…to the point where you start to break down. Really?

Not all is as it seems. The world is lonely. Take care of you. Let’s take care of each other. 

Bryan sings almost with a reverence for accepting that not all is as it seems.

We live in a world full of lonely people. What’s worse is when we make ourselves sick by failing to look out for ourselves. Take care of you. Watch things get better.

(An amazing electric performance with an unbelievable solo.)

Have you had  your heart broken? If so, how?

How you have managed to recover and find your shine again?

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