There Will Be Time – Love Is Timeless

Grief upon grief upon grief upon grief. We grieve and survive, then grieve again. Every agonizing loss opens our hearts again and threatens to deepen the pain. That’s life. But perhaps it’s worth accepting that this is the way it is. Our memory is long. Perhaps it would be wise to stay in the moment, in the fresh truth and integrity of today’s loss, so that it may be fortify us with the reminder of our capacity for love.

The grief of a former student stabs me right through the Facebook announcement she has posted. The reality has pierced through my disbelieving eyes and brain to my heart. It is what I have been dreading to hear for a couple of years since Laura announced that she was selling her parents’ furniture – is that how it starts? I’m dreading the day it’s my turn…my dad and I spoke yesterday about my mother’s next surgery – post open heart – this is ‘just’ the removal of her metal stitches and cysts from the bi-pass. “Now, don’t start worrying,” my dad says as he announces the date and gives me the facts.

But it was Laura’s lovely gentleman of a father who left this earth three days ago. I am thousands of miles away to be of any use. I can write, of course. I can’t help myself. Facebook provides the means by which to reconnect and exchange words: I tell Laura my thoughts and memories of her dad; she’s craving to know (everything). It provides some comfort to both of us. This is what you do when someone dies: you hold each other.

Maybe this is useful: as long as you can hear someone through their words even…you can feel them. Social scientists talk about how even words provide some form of social contact. Can this be of comfort after our loved ones are gone? It must, for we salvage every scrap of writing we can, don’t we? Letters and now I assume all manner of digital texts.

I feel the familiar agony and anxiety that comes up every single time someone I love dies. I’ve lived with this since I was nineteen. There it goes, in my head again…the wish that there was no such thing as death. The cold, hard truth (to this semi-spiritualist) is silent and unshakeable. None of us are getting out alive. The loss of the one we love is always too sudden. The time is always too little. I do everything I can to be present. Laura’s sorrow and strength will help her as the reality sinks into her bones that her dad will no longer be around to swap stories with: this phase of her life is over. A new one will begin.

All day I have been searching for a song to post. This one came – by Australian band Mumford & Sons and Baaba Maal. It speaks to me for two reasons: One, it reminds us that life is full of ups and downs…and most certainly love. Two, there is a time for everything in life, and that includes death. There will be grieving and with time we will recover somewhat. But never entirely because to love is to miss those who are gone. With memories, we will suffer again and again. Time will help us make sense of this.

PS. We do not feel the loss of those we do not love. In grief, there’s a time for despair, and a time for peace. Just be there.  Watch this second video and read the incredible lyrics of Baaba Maal.

This is for you Liam, Marion, and Laura. Know this: love will never leave you.

“There Will Be Time”- Mumford & Sons
(feat. Baaba Maal)

[Baaba Maal]

But in the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
In the cold light I live, I only live for you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have

[Baaba Maal]

So open up my eyes to a new light
I wandered ’round your darkened land all night
But I lift up my eyes to a new high
And indeed there would be time

But in the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
In the cold light I live, I only live for you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have

And in the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
In the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
Why do I keep falling?
Why do I keep falling?

[Baaba Maal:]
There is a time, a time to love
A time to sing, a time to shine
A time to leave, a time to stay
There is a time, a time to cry
A time to love, a time to hate
There is a time, a time to sing
A time to love

And in the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
In the cold light I live to love and adore you
It’s all that I am, it’s all that I have
Why do I keep falling?
Why do I keep falling?

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